Consider it Done

Organized religion has done a real head job on us. When we buy into it we compartmentalize our lives into something totally unrecognizable. We divide it into the things that seem acceptable and those that are not; when in actuality all of it is who we are. It is no wonder mental ailments are so rampant in our society. Jesus said a house divide against itself cannot stand, many of us are divided within ourselves how can we stand?

I tend have the perception that an all powerful God that could create the Universe would not be a deceiver. He would not give humans or animals faculties that they were not suppose to use. We certainly need to learn appropriateness so that we don't self pleasure in public but that is vastly different from denial or suppression of our natural inclinations.

I often believe that religion without being tempered by common sense causes an internal strife. There is a beauty in being able to listen not only to your body but to your spirit as well and be true to it. Many people live unhappy, unfulfilled lives listening to everything and everybody but themselves & that still small voice that speaks from within. We pretend to trust in God yet don't trust that He speaks to each of us. If we do hear what we heard can't possibly be right. It's too audacious, to good maybe to be true for us or requires more risk than we're willing to take.

To Be Good

Most of us wonder about how different our lives would be if we had made other choices. I know I do. I wonder what I would have done if I grew up believing I was beautiful. Or if I thought it was okay to live a free and adventurous life. It is truly the nature verses nurture question for me. My nature says be out spoken, bold & adventurous. My nurture says a good Baptist girl gets married, has babies, keeps a clean house, joins the PTA and has dinner on the table when her husband gets home. Seeing life in terms of this continuum puts you at a terrible disadvantage. The definition of being good is so narrowly focused that if not this then that. I'm not good therefore I'm bad. These external value judgments cloud the real truth.

At a certain point in our lives we have to stop with the holier than thou attitudes and figure out what it means to have a real relationship with God. In becoming more spiritual and less religious we discover a God that wants us to be happy. That He didn't create us from a cookie cutter destined to monotonous Stafford wives. Spiritualized living recognizes God speaking constantly. Believe it or not when we're more spiritual God becomes more expansive, more powerful weaving in and out of every experience or encounter. We stop limiting God to a book and see Her everywhere actively involved in our lives not standing in judgment but beaconing us to rise.

The Kingdom of God is spread out before us here on earth. It is not only in the good that we see but also in the bad. In this awareness when you're confused simply ask the question God what would you have me see here? And anticipate the answer.

In All & Through All

I was following a friend to shop one day, she was taking her car in for service. We were on the freeway and I was clutching my steering wheel crying and praying out loud about a number of things that just weren't going right in my life. Finally it got to the point that I felt all prayed out, I had that pause where I thought what else? I started that involuntary sniffling we do after a good cry, you know the one where your chest heaves as you try to catch your breath.

I often use my drive time as prayer time as if traffic was some metaphor for life. This morning the traffic was thick and I had been careful to keep my eye on the car ahead of me maintaining what I thought was an acceptable distance. We'd be exiting soon so I was drying my eyes. I wanted the puffiness to go down before I had to get in the car with my friend, I didn't want the questions about why I was crying that was my business. Then out of nowhere this huge 18 wheel semi started cutting over into my lane. Checking my rearview mirror I prayed & screamed not wanting to be hit from behind as I jammed on my brakes. I was screaming all kinds of profanities at that truck.

In a matter of seconds I had gone from praying to cursing calling that driver everything but a child of God. How dare he cut in front of me like that? I could have been killed I thought and uttered a reluctant thank you to God for moving me out of the way. But I fussed at God "why does it have to be so darn hard all the time?" That truck almost hitting me was adding insult to injury or putting salt in a wound. As I was pondering my seemingly terrible lot in life I saw the truck, as if for the first time. Written across the rear door in huge cursive letters was "consider it done." Tears started pouring from my eyes freely as those words penetrated my soul. Consider it done! Thank you God, thank you.

Step Out 2 Step Up

Recently I asked a friend to appear on my TV show, I was somewhat pressed to get a guest and knew he needed some PR for his newly formed business venture. On the day of the taping he called to say that he wasn't dressed right, his face was broken out, and a number of things that to me sounded like cold feet. Who passes up free publicity?

I have frequently had to talk guest into doing something that they really want to do but often lack the confidence or courage to do. They worry what others will think or say as if an opinion can, of themselves, cause harm. Truly the only harm an opinion can do is when we put a period behind it, accept it as truth and think end of story.

There is always the risk of not getting chosen but if we never step out there we run the added risk of not being seen either. All success carries with it some degree of risk, if we risk nothing we gain nothing. At least in doing or putting ourselves out there we are open we not only get exposure but we find areas to improve for better positioning.

Growth

When I first started out of the radio years ago stressed over the idea of finding my voice. I kept going on about how I wanted to be perceived, the affect I wanted to have and the general feel and texture of my show. I appeared on other's shows, co-hosted and eventually got my own show and time slot and still I talked about finding my voice.

A dear friend and fellow talk show host gave me a tape and asked me to listen; I was surprised to recognize the voice that I resonated most with was my own. I know that sounds strange how could I not recognize my own voice? I felt like I was having an out of body experience and all I could think was WOW! That day I stopped searching for my voice and realized that I had had it all along, it grew out of who I was and not something I made up based on what I thought others wanted to hear.

Self Acceptance

The challenge of accepting oneself is an internal challenge; we are often quicker to condemn ourselves than to be condemned. We compare and judge thinking that what we think about ourselves others think also. Growing up we learned to modify our behavior and thinking by listening to the constant input of others eventually, drowning out or losing track of our own voice. Part of the maturation process is finding or reclaiming that voice. That reclamation process can be very different for each of us.

• Some try to fit in or blend in attempting not to differentiate themselves from the crowd. Go along to get along.
  
• Some fight against the crowd; often taking on the role of an outsider or antagonist.
  
• Some become approval addicts or develop co-dependent personalities.
  
• Others learn a sense of confidence that says yes we're different and that is okay.
  

To a great degree learning to accept your own voice means that you must stand on your own two feet and risk the disapproval of others. It also makes room for the possibility that others may be impressed or persuaded by your stance or inspired to let go of the self-defeating habit of seeking approval.

Make time for yourself daily so you can get clear on what you think or believe and define what is important to you. When you get clear on your core values let that serve as your litmus test. The last thing we need is more coppertops jumping on a bandwagon to nowhere. Challenge those around you to look beyond the surface of what's popular.