Book of Sandra ~ Go Strong or Go Home

Chapter 13

So I have been fighting writing this week. I know when you come to the page you have to be in a position to be honest and share what you really feel. I have not been in that place because while I want to share my insights I'm ambivalent, you never know who's reading this. However as I write this two things come to mind. The first is that to not share what I think, my truth is to stand in the way of someone else's growth. Truth is relative so it's one person's perspective and even that can be a hard pill to swallow. I owe it to myself and them and myself to share it. The second part of that I have to set up.

I had a speaking engagement set up for this past week, it was kind of last minute but sometimes those are the best kind. I had a full schedule so I was squeezing in prep time. I kept trying to get a feel for what I was going to talk about but nothing concrete was coming. Normally I pray about it and in meditation I'll get excited about a subject and then start to develop a skeleton. I try not to fill in all the details that is spirit's part. Anyway, I was getting glimmers of a message but nothing complete like I normally do.

The Science of Mind: 50th Anniversary Edition

The Request

In my meditation that morning I asked for clarity, was what I had prepared on point? I got the sensation that I should do one on my message hunts. I have a box of 200+ Science of Mind and Unity magazines, when I want a message I choose one blindly and then open it to a page and where my eyes land I read. So the second part of my reasoning is the message I got. It was from Herman Melville and simply said. . ."woe to the one who aims to please rather than appall," I was blown away. How much clearer could a message get? I got the image of Jesus going into the temple and turning over the tables of money changers and admonishing the leadership. Was I up to the task?

The energy I felt from that group was weak and confused. Not what I expected at all. I'm big on feeling energy it gives a clear indication on leadership and the trajectory of my talk. I stood up on high and was going to get these people excited and vibrating higher than they were when I walked in if I had to lay hands on them myself. I talked and quoted and reminded them of what they should already know. Reaching back to the basics always gets a reaction out of people. I got one or two resonant stares but not enough. So I kept talking and finally when I had worked myself up into my frenzy I sat down. The music played and then the guy who is the spiritual leader of the center stood up and apologized saying a few nice things then something like growth hurts – stretching is uncomfortable.

Insight

We talked after service and he said he wasn't apologizing for me but that people get bent out of shape when someone tries to get them to stretch. He talked about pleasing his board and I reminded him of the quote that I allowed to guide me. Spiritual audacity is the term I used in my talk. We have to have the audacity to see God everywhere. We have to have the audacity to believe in miracles and guidance and to follow that where it may lead. To talk about what is right rather than popular, if that is not what church is for then what is the point? There must be a moral authority based on teachings and principles and not on the collection plate. It is the responsibility of leadership to lead and not follow.

I'm thankful for the lesson.

Book of Sandra ~ Power of No

Chapter 11

I heard her say; "I keep meeting knuckleheads," meeting them or attracting them is not the problem. The problem is you knew he was a knucklehead and gave them your number or your goodies anyway.

I just wrote a blog on saying yes. I firmly believe that we have to be open to life to experience more of it. But the other day I ran into an old acquaintance. I never thought of him as a friend, he always struck me as being duplicitous and quite sleazy. I knew he was attracted to me, he seem to have all the trappings nice car & house but he had that yuck factor and for me that can't be overcome with material stuff. I was my normal winsome self went over to greet and hug him hello. We chatted for a few minutes and then came that awkward quasi-question that seems a natural progression to these chance encounters: "Let me get your number."

When we're young we have to be taught to be considerate of others feelings. My nephew, a 10 year old said to a grown man "hey you're short, I'm gonna be eating off the top of your head in a minute." It may be true but it was not even remotely cute or necessary to say. We can be considerate of others without being inconsiderate to ourselves. I know it sounds like that old saying: disagree without being disagreeable, it's the same sentiment.

Personal Value

At a certain point in our lives we begin to value our own piece of mind. Now, I care more about what I think of myself than what you think about me. My ego use to get caught up on other people's opinions but I learned what's good for my ego is often detrimental to me. How would I know what I think, if all I care about is what you think? That's abdicating personal authority to another. My real power is in my ability to choose and own my choices. Pandering to the opinions and desires of others makes you a dependent, cut that umbilical cord and stand up.

We all get lost or confused at times, we have our peak and valley experiences. If we back up a bit we can normally recognize which one we're in. Sometimes our friends point it out. I'm quick to say to a friend "you must be depressed." How we feel about ourselves shows up in the choices we make or fail to make. Our self caring suffers. I heard her say; "I keep meeting knuckleheads," meeting them or attracting them is not the problem. The problem is you knew he was a knucklehead and gave them your number or your goodies anyway. When we feel good we feel empowered to make healthy choices. When you're feeling bad, you don't always know it, but you will show it so sometimes the only option is to try to do no harm. Invoke your power to say NO!

Choose Again

Recently, I had to do a reevaluation of my life; what is important to me and what feels good. I had to find my center because I was in a fog. I knew that there was a bigger me out there, I remembered her, she wasn't just a dream I had she was my old self and I was somehow lost. I knew if I stayed on the road I was on I would keep drowning out her beacon call. I had to stop, distinguish her voice and once I tuned into her make an immediate course change before I lost her again. We all get lost from time to time we look up and find ourselves doing things we never would have done in the past. It's like the prodigal son who came to himself and said in my Father's house even the servants live better than this.

If that happens or has happened to you forgive yourself. We have to go through it to grow through it. Clinically it's called depression; none of us want to claim that so we call it midlife crises, bad marriage or almost anything else. Whatever you call it come to a full stop and like in the mall mark your spot, you are here "X" now. Why are you here, what brought you to this point? Get the lesson and then set a course for either your old home or a new one.

Engage

Now that you've determined where you need to go don't do any more damage by continuing to allow your current circumstances to dictate your future aspiration. Cut the cord and don't breathe or feed through it again. We have been so accustomed to living in our pain that we often cling to things that cause us more pain. Get clear on your destination and begin again. Know that your power lies in your ability to make better choices more aligned with where you are headed than where you have been. That's where you have to use the power of NO. No you're not going there. No you can't call me or even get my number. Consciously claim your newness through the power of NO.

 

Book of Sandra ~ Say Yes

A question has a tangible feel, just like a yes or no does. I feel an answer often before I ask the question. I fancy myself as somewhat intuitive, even took classes and have read books for develop and hone the skills necessary to develop the ability. It's really a thrill when I hear spirit speak or when the air gets pregnant like something important is about to happen. I can tap into someone's energy and feel their thoughts or have seen impressions that tell me what direction to take. I have often been tapped to answer someone's prayer, that could be as simple as telling someone help is on the way. As wonderful as that maybe at times it can be a curse as well.

The problem is that I can feel a person's ambiguity and react to what they feel rather than to what they say. To me it seems that my personal integrity is stake if I knowingly push a person to do something that I think is against their will.

I can't tell you how often I've done things that were the opposite of what I thought or felt in my heart. I have purchased cars against my better judgment, gone out on dates, and done countless other things that went against my better judgment and been blessed beyond my wildest expectations. Could you see turning down clients not because of what they say but because of what they think or what you think they think?

Stay in your own head

What you think is none of my business. I am constantly put in position where if I want to grow I have to do things that I would normally not do. Growth happens just outside of my comfort zone. I can't grow by doing only the things that are familiar or comfortable. My impression of what you are thinking, your hesitation, may be dead on but that should not be my concern. I have to let you do you and I do me.

The Flow

I can't tell you how often I pray for something and it happens so fast it just can't be right. When I am in the flow things just happen to which I have to say yes. Today might be the day that someone is supposes to say yes to you, but them giving you consent or the "go ahead" requires that you ask the question. If you don't ask nothing happens, you abort our own possibilities by not asking or blocking the flow.

Sometimes all you really have to do is say yes to the process. Anything is possible.

Book of Sandra ~ Awed by God

Chapter 10

We are all part of this vast matrix that I call God. Most of us like to think of God as a being that sits up high and looks down low. But viewed more correctly God is everywhere and in everything, not just in it, but is It as well. God is the source and substance of everything; we are literally made up of God. Unfortunately, we know this only to the degree that we are open to knowing it.

Authority Problem

A Course in Miracles said that we have an authority problem. We think that we authored God rather than God authoring us. As a result we think that what is true for us is true for God. Making God in our image we've created a God that is judgmental, unforgiving, non-accepting, and stingy. We can't perceive of a God that does not judge us because we judge ourselves and each other. We find it hard to accept that we are forgiven and accepted as we are because we have a difficult time forgiving and accepting. We think God is like us rather than aspiring to love as God loves or should I say Jesus? Most believe that Jesus smoothed out God's edgy ways; he took our lickin' so we can keep on ticking. He reconciled man to God by interceding on our behalf.

The Dare

Joseph Campbell in The Power of Myth talked about this in St Paul's letter to church which we have taken as scripture. He quoted, "For God has consigned all men to disobedience, that he may sow his mercy to all." Campbell goes on to say "You cannot be so disobedient that God's mercy will not be able to follow you, so give him a chance. "Sin bravely," he said Luther said, and see how much of God's mercy you can invoke. The great sinner is the great awakener of God to compassion." Mother Theresa said that "God loves a sinner," after a brief pause she added, "They tend to be more interesting people." We all need to awaken to a level of compassion for one another.

You have been blessed with intelligent freewill it is an attribute of God that He instilled in each of us. To be in the image and likeness means that we have the same abilities to make choices. God does not violate your ability to choose because She does not contradict Herself. But you are admonished to make your choices wisely because you are not punished for your sins but rather by them, karmic law says you get what you give in direct proportion.

We have placed God in the box of our understanding for far too long, we pretend as if we know what is unknowable. Once you think you know, know that It is beyond that, and beyond even that. Limiting your perception of God, limits your experience of God make room for transcendence. Expect to be awed.

This Week on Thrive

I had a great show the other day, I love when I have a guest that comes in and is really open to digging deep to have a good interview. Richelle Taylor wrote a book called "Discovering Who You Really Are." I'm excited about her sharing her journey about self discovery as a Black lesbian who journeys within and starts a wonderful love affair with herself. Check it out and I'll give an update when I read a bit further.

Book of Sandra ~ The Proposal

The Trigger

I read a posting the other day about a young woman who had been offered $6,000 to marry a foreigner so that he could stay in this country, you know get his visa extended and eventually get a green card. She posted it for a friend who was trying to decide whether to take the proposal or not. Quite a few people responded to the posting but I was surprised by the reasoning.

Let's set aside the fact that our country is at war and there are people trying to come here some with ill intentions. Those we like to believe are few and far between. There are many people who would love to come to this country in hopes of building a better life. I find no fault in the desire to expand one's horizons.

I have met and dated foreign born men frequently both here in this country and when I attended a school for foreigners in Siena Italy. To be courted by men of different cultures is truly an interesting experience but that's not what we're talking about here. In the example shared there is a woman who is the mother of five children who is attending college and having some financially difficulties. She was approached by a foreigner with the aforementioned proposal.

Most of the postings complained about the amount of money being offered by this man to marry this family. Here's my problem. I find it offensive to think that this woman he is willing to marry is not worth dating or wooing. Not to sound condescending but how difficult can it be to actually date a woman who is having financial difficulties and five children, help me out. Sure it takes time, can be extremely frustrating and but so too can marriage. Court her and her children pay a bill, fix a bicycle, buy some McDonald's and rent a DVD on occasion and show that you can get with her program. Then the she and the kids may say let's do this because they see the benefit of having this man around, not because of $6,000 that is likely to be gone by the end of the first month. How insulting!

The Request

Here's what he is asking instead; I need you to live a lie with me for at least two years. We'll have to lie to the kids and make them believe that we're in a relationship because heaven forbid they give us away. Can you imagine INS interviewing the children only to be told by the talkative one that "oh he comes by and takes pictures of everything so he can pass the quiz." You'll have to lie to all your family and friends so they won't give you away because INS investigates these things. You might as well sign your kids up for the "my mommy's a liar club so I don't respect her club."

Life Lessons

I find the archetypes that Jung talks about fascinating, he says that we all have to grow through these life lessons. Most don't realize that life deals us a series of archetypal events so that we can consciously choose who we desire to be. So do we step up, step down or lay down? There is the Prostitute that deals with the sale or negotiation of your integrity or your spirit. We all have a price but whom or what dictates your price? Add to that the fact that she's a mother and therefore a package deal what's the family worth. There are always consequences to our actions, you guys, we need to shift this paradigm.

We are in the midst of a crisis of consciousness; we are failing our youth. If we don't make the shift soon all of our instinctive humanity will be sucked away. I know it probably sounds a tad bit dramatic but don't you think we ought to get a little dramatic? It's preferable to the continuing complacency that has plagued our community. The thought I had was of us drowning in shallow waters but on Mary Hartman (was it?) somebody drowned in a bowl of soup, are we going out like that? Are we still as adults dumbing-down so the irreverent loud mouths feel comfortable to set the tone? We rejected "moral values" for being too stoic for our casual society. We disengaged from family values when the Presidential candidate turned joke Dan Quayle started talking about it. So now where are we?

About Face

What's needed is not a new catch phrase or committee to reestablish human/self worth, its individual commitment to our future. This revolution of values must protect our freedom without diminishing our spirit. There is nothing but a lack of vision to prevent us from reordering our priorities. We must not allow small hearted, short sighted misguided people to drag us down this dark corridor of self hatred and spiritual bankruptcy. In our arrogance we think that we have chosen this path and protect it as if cutthroat individualism is the goal.

We need to have an all-out sustained effort to do an about face. We have to learn to love our neighbors as ourselves. Self love dictates that we treat ourselves as if we recognize our own inherent value and do what is good and nurturing. We treat others with that same value and respect as well. I love the quote from A Course in Miracles that says:

"When you meet anyone, remember it is a holy encounter. As you see him, you will see yourself. As you treat him, you will treat yourself. As you think of him you will think of yourself. Never forget this, for in him you will find yourself or lose yourself."

We are all connected and together we shall rise or fall, the responsibility for that is each of ours. We are affected by what others say and think and should therefore recognize that others are affected by your choice to step up or lay down. Do you have the spiritual fortitude to offset negativity? If not, make commitment to your own healing and maturation. Figure out what it means to love you and do that. What does it mean to protect yourself and do that. Once you do it for yourself doing it for another will be easier.

Let's get busy.

Book of Sandra - Take Aim

A Work in Progress

This may not make a lot of sense to you but it does to me. I'm working on me and my ability to express what I have in my head. When I'm up on stage I have no problem talking. I can see faces and grasp when others are getting it and when they are not. On the page I realize that working to get something on this screen and press the publish button.

I want to be able to take an idea and write as much as I can as clearly as I can before moving on to the next point. As I do this blog hopefully I'm getting better at explaining things. I'm breathing new life back into my vocabulary and taking the thoughts that I have and stretching them out for your consideration and mine. If you're reading this thank you, if you ask me questions or make comments that would help.

I just posted a blog on effects. So let me tell you a quick little story. I was on radio for 12 years and had a call in show. The station wasn't that sophisticated so rather than have an 8 - 12 second delay where they could edit or beep out unsuitable stuff, it just went right out on air. To make matters worse because my show was late in the evening I didn't always have a tech in the booth to answer the phone line and screen the calls. I often answered a ringing line with "hello you're on the air." Yes, a disaster waiting to happen.

Gloria the Grim Reaper

Anyway one day I got a call from Gloria, she called periodically to other shows I'd heard her before and thought she had a pretty dark personality. She introduced herself and asked "are you going to hang up on me?" "No Gloria, I'm not going to hang up on you. What's on your mind?" Gloria proceeded to criticize me and my show, she couldn't understand why they let me on the air, called me a liar and told me I was "so heavenly minded I was no earthly good." I let her talk about me and when she was done I thanked her for the call and hung up. I hadn't argued, debated, or showed any resistance I just listened & prayed "God help me determine what's helpful here and what is her trying to be hurtful." I wanted to hear.

When I finally hung up I felt like I was grappling for words, I tried to pick up where I'd left off but I felt I was still flopping in the wind. Then the calls started to come in, listeners reassuring me that she was just some spinster looking to get a rise out of me. Every caller until my show ended and afterward called to say how much they loved and appreciated my show. Her words still haunt me to this day but they don't stop me from talking.

Months later she did the same thing to another host, I really should have called Stephonia after it happened but I didn't she had a good support system, I thought. The next week I listened purposefully to see if she was going to say anything about Gloria's call but there was a guest host on. The following two weeks she had guest host and she never came back on air at that station again. For some reason criticism seems to have more of an impact on people than praise does. We carry with us the judgments that people make. They lay seemingly dormant in the back of our minds and can trigger defensive reactions if we're not conscious of them.

Fingerprints

Every event has a fingerprint. If you were held back a grade in school you always feel secretly inadequate and over compensate today. There are incidents that you will always remember and that will affect your current reactions no matter how trivial it may seem. Some people never get over being chosen last. Forgiveness is key to letting go or at least loosening the grip that the past has on your present. I hope Gloria continued to listen to my show so she's not angry anymore. God bless our teachers in whatever form they show up in. amen

Book of Sandra

Chapter 9 ~ Blind Sided

Have you watched The Blind Side with Sandra Bullock? I've enjoyed her as an actress and appreciated the strong mother archetype she played in the movie it was heartening. This movie illustrated and reminded us of the complexity of persona. Who we are today is a summation of all that has happened before; our past experiences color how we see ourselves and the world.

The Blind Side was about a teenager whose mother was a drug addict, his father whom he didn't recall meeting had committed suicide by jumping off a bridge. He'd been snatched from his mother and put into foster care, lost contact with his siblings, and was eventually homeless until taken in by Sandra Bullock and her family. That family helped him get his life together and the family was blessed in the process too.

We'd like to think that as we move forward in life that our past falls away with each new step we take never to be heard from again. I've heard rap lyrics that say "it's not where you're from it's where you're at" that matters, put more accurately it's both.

Tabula Rasa

We come into this world hopefully as blank tablets, if you've ever watched a baby you know they come with their own little personalities and dispositions unique to them. As they develop their family and environment effects who they will become. We are in a constant state of becoming. Every second of our lives is recorded in our energy and impacts the next moment as we move forward. We have a tendency to think that only the big things have resonance but it is the small seemingly mundane instances too.

A friend of mine said that she wished that people would talk about the people who weren't adversely affected by their trauma. I said to her "there is no such thing as trauma without affects." We have those that are in denial and those that are aware, but everything has a fingerprint. Call it what you like side effects, issues, residuals, idiosyncrasies, behaviors or any host of other coping mechanisms. I explained to her how I thought I was fine and dealing well with my having been raped. So much so that I got a job working for the local rape crisis center and went out talking about it. It dawned on me one day as I listened to the other women that I did a lot of what other victims do, my not acknowledging it didn't change anything. I needed to heal so that I could make conscious choices so I got into therapy.

Side Effects

Reactions to the events of our lives vary from person to person and can be much more pronounced in some more so than others. Suicide or cutting is on one extreme and projected at oneself on the other end is withdrawal and passive aggressive behaviors. How we respond depends on many factors like age, duration, relationship, personality and so much more. We grow up in houses with parents that fall anywhere between being holy rollers and strict to having parents that lie, cheat, steal and fight. We carry the effects of those behaviors as well.

We are each a culmination of our past experiences. We tote our past along with us where ever we go. You can choose to be conscious or aware of your issues and what triggers a reaction or you can choose to stay unaware. Being conscious is a much more powerful space to be in because at least you know why you do or think what you do and make a choice to choose again. Remember you're not alone you're not the first to experience whatever has happened in your life. Do a search to find out how others cope or get professional help.

I'd like to hear from you, what has happened in your life that had an adverse effect? How does it affect you today?

 

Book of Sandra

Chapter 8

I had told my sister on Saturday that I was not going back out of the house until Monday unless somebody comes to pick me up. It was ugly outside and I just wanted to hang out with some movies and sip on tea. As I was sitting there writing I got the sudden urge to take a shower and get cute. So I popped into the shower and started doing my hair because I was might have some company. While I was in the process the phone rang and a friend of mine insisting that I go to a basketball watch party.

I try my best to be obedient when I get an impulses, its how we develop our intuitive ability. When you can be trusted to follow the guidance of spirit you get more guidance. I said yes because I knew I was suppose to go, this while seemingly insignificant was the reason for my getting cute. He picked me up moments later because I still was not trying to drive and we made our way out to her home.

The exit ramp was pretty long and we were riding behind a van that had 3 or 4 bumper stickers. The one that caught my eye said "God doesn't believe in Atheists." I rejected the idea almost immediately but said nothing to my friend. We were discussing where the nearest KFC was to grab some chicken. He broached the subject.

He asked "did you know that Paul was an Atheist?" Paul was a mutual friend that often showed up at these gathering. "Yep," I said simply noting the incredulous tone in his voice. "I can't believe that" he said "he seems adamant, talking about if there was a God why would he let all this horrific stuff happen without intervention. I can't believe you knew and didn't say anything." "What difference does it make?" I asked him. He seemed shocked but let it go there only to bring it back up during a commercial break in the game.

All of us were friends and though we gather pretty often, religion is not normally a topic of conversation. They tossed around the difference between an Atheist and an agnostic trying to figure out which category Paul would fall into. Again I asked why does it matter? We discussed many ideas.

Knowledge of or belief in God does not mean that a person is necessarily a good person. Our churches are filled with unjust people. There are plenty of good people doing good things that don't know God. That concept did not compute for them. I said that we view the world from our own limited perception that the world had people that were not exposed to the bible and yet worked in harmony with others and nature too. How pervasive was the Judea/Christian teaching and was it the only possibility? Joseph Campbell talks about other creation stories and how religion comes out of our experience in The Power of Myth. How can we not factor in other cultures? They asked if I believed in God, which to me sounded absurd. Of course I believe in God but not one that exist in the box of my understanding.

I mentioned that when Jesus was asked what was the greatest commandment? Jesus said that to love God with all your heart and soul and the second is "like it" to love thy neighbor as thyself. Because we demonstrate our love for God by how we act towards one another, you can't love God and not man. There are plenty of people who love and demonstrate that love that don't believe in God. There are none believers whose works fall in line with the teachings of Jesus far better than those proclaim that belief. Judge a man by his works or a tree by the fruit it bears. Our friend Paul may claim not to believe in God yet he does the work of God.

There was one line in the Stephen King movie "The Stand" that summed it up beautiful. When the old was told by the deaf/mute that he didn't believe in God, she laughed about the absurdity of that statement and said to him. "Aw baby that don't matter God believes in you." That should be enough.

Book of Sandra

Chapter 7

Thoughts are powerful. This is one of my favorite poems:

I hold it true that thoughts are things;
They're endowed with bodies and breath and wings;
And that we send them forth to fill
The world with good results, or ill.
That which we call our secret thought
Speeds forth to earth's remotest spot,
Leaving its blessings or its woes
Like tracks behind it as it goes.
We build our future thought by thought,
For good or ill, yet know it not.
Yet, so the universe was wrought.
Thought is another name for fate;
Choose, then, thy destiny and wait,
For love brings love and hate brings hate.

-- Henry Van Dyke

It seems that some of us are catching on and becoming consciously aware of the power of our thoughts. New books come out all the time touting that old knowledge suddenly became new. It tells us that our thoughts create our reality in different ways than we heard it before but it is far from new.

• Everything your eyes see was once a thought in some one's mind so thoughts create
  
  • Thoughts transform both our internal mental state and our external experience.
    
  • Thoughts can also be very destructive.
    
  • Thoughts are the first cause of all that is. Let there be is a powerful thought.
    

Do you control your thoughts or do your thoughts control you? Some believe that they are at the effect of things as if thinking is involuntary as breathing and caused by something outside of ourselves. As if they have no choice in reactions given a certain set of circumstances. A Course in Miracles says that an untrained mind can accomplish nothing. That implication is that we train our minds how to think.

From my own mind I know that I can condition my mind to see as I choose to see. The thought that "only love is real" is programming; once entered into any equations it transforms how I perceive events. Through consistent training we change how we see and relate to the world some call it brainwashing but when you are the architect of your own mind it is simply being in charge of how you perceive your world.

A few years ago the book "The Power of Intention" had people talking differently about how they related to mind activities. Setting intention is the same thing; it is a suggestive thought that changes or transforms experience. Set your intention and your insight is changed regardless of what your eyesight observes. If I believe or hold it as truth in my mind "that only love is real" my mind will search for ways given the current data to see love. "Whatever appears not to be love is a call for love" is a redirect formula that is transformative as well.

Try it. Amos of Famous Amos Cookies says that God always says yes to us. Now set your intention for the next week to recognizing in every moment that God always says yes, it'll change around what you think. You won't have the luxury of criticizing yourself because the moment you do God will agree and make it so. Your thought that you're a screw up is realized and you actually do screw everything up. Change your thought to I am a money magnet and God says yes to that as well. You'll quickly get in touch with all the background noise in your mind that may not fall in line with what you want to experience. If God says yes to me then what I'm experiencing is a matter of mind so let me make sure I'm being diligent about what is in my mind. You are not a victim of your mind unless you choose to be. Be the captain of your ship control your mind.

Book of Sandra

Chapter 6

Talking bags of mostly water is how we were described on one of Star Trek's early shows but beyond that we are energetic thinking beings. We have life force energy that I also call power. If you've ever watched someone die or touched a corpse you know what I mean. It's as if someone flipped the switch and the power turned off and the energy that animated that life is gone in a flash. It takes energy to hold your head up, move your eyes across a page or swallow. Even in a relaxed state our body's still require energy to function.

We use various words to describe it energy, power, spirit or life force. We have debated for years about the point at which the life force enters our bodies; at first breath or conception. Whatever the case we definitely know when it leaves. The life force seems to indwell our bodies but since I can see auras or the energy that surrounds a person could it be the reverse? We talk about auras in terms of personal space, let someone violate that space and we know it. Here's some observational jibber jabber about energy:

• Our eyes transmit energy and whatever we look at we send energy.
  
  • Vietnam Vets say if you don't want to be detected look away, people can feel you staring at them.
    
  • A gaze can send energy either positive or negative by the thought held while looking.
    
  • Here's a question: is vision internal meaning a mental process or an external process dependent on a physical process?
    
    • Most of my insights come after looking away from a person. I close my eyes and visualize them in mind and can often see much better. I've seen on reflection places on their physical bodies that seem to be comparatively dimmer than other parts of their bodies. Try it, look at someone then close your eyes and see them again, what's different?
      
• Our thoughts transmit energy, we can direct, share, transmit or read with our thoughts.
  
  • All minds are connected we can send and receive messages.
    
    • Feel when others are thinking about us or sense emotions and distress.
      
    • Heal by sending positive energy.
      
    • Read what another is feeling or thinking.
      
  • Some can move objects – I'm still working on this one.
    
• Influence others because energy follows thought so we can send suggestive or instructive thoughts to another.
  

In Asians countries that talk about Chi energy. We all have it but through studying various forms of martial arts that can strengthen and train their energy developing the ability to move or repulse objects with energy that does not require physical contact. We all have this ability to lesser degrees because we have not trained our energy to do otherwise.

Energy Usage

As humans let's say that we earn a daily allotment of 100 watts of energy from eating, exercising and resting to do with as we choose. We expend 60 - 70 watts of energy in our daily functions like digesting food, muscles control, walking and basic physical functions. When we're young we have energy to burn but as we age we earn less and less watts of energy and may start to run on deficit.

Factor in where our thoughts go energy flows. We give up precious wattage of non-reciprocating energy to watching TV, living in the past, or worrying about things that may never happen. The more emotionally charged our thoughts are the more energy we expend on it so angry resentful thinking cause us to hemorrhage large amounts of energy. When we begin to run on deficit our vital organs begin to suffer because they no longer get what they need to function properly opening us up to sickness and disease.

Energy Vampires

It seems energy is a precious commodity on every level of life. It determines our level of dependence or autonomy, how well we stand up on our own two feet in the world. Naturally men lose energy through sexual ejaculation and women through menstruation, but the other way we lose energy is as a result of energy vampires that try to drain or diminish energy by physically or emotionally attacking another. Verbal and physical abuse is psychologically damaging and can deprive its victims of the energetic potency necessary to function fully. We see this often in a familial group or relationships where the aim is to control another through fear or to diminish the self- worth so you won't stray too far from home. Energy violations can paralyze or cripple the victim but does not leave the perpetrator unscathed either since there is a karmic cost to energy violations.

Forgiveness

Any time we have been victimized for whatever reason by anyone we need to forgive. Spiritually we lose energy when we are damaged; it's like having a tear in the fabric of our lives. If we focus on the tear, let it rule our lives or color our choices, we're sending energy to it so it continues secrete precious energy. Forgiveness acts as a clotting agent that seals and eventually heals the wound. Forgiveness is not easy but all that is necessary is the sincere desire to forgive. The Universe favors order and balance when we are losing energy we are not in balance. A simple request is all that is necessary to begin the process. Dear God I want to forgive this please show me how. If you are willing you will be shown the way.

Our level of personal potency, self-esteem, dignity and how we relate to others are influenced by the energy or lack thereof. The energy of our lives touches and animates everything we do and therefore is deserving of our attention. How are you using energy? Are you losing it or gaining it? What is the quality of your energy is it vibrant and healthy or negative and heavy? How do you make others around you feel energetically? What is the perceived source of your energy? Are you exclusive as in judgmental and competitive? Or inclusive and affirming? These questions will help you determine the quality of energy of your life. Remember energy follows thought so be mindful of what you give your attention.

Book of Sandra

Chapter 5

I grew up cooking. It was my job to start dinner when I came home from school. My father, a southern man, had to have certain things every day we had a meat, vegetable and cornbread. Nothing was easy either. Meat was usually frozen in our huge mammoth freezer so I had to remember to take it out that morning or get it thawed and cooking ASAP. Vegetables were labor intensive because we rarely used frozen and never canned. I made pinto beans, or black eye peas, or my mother's favorite cabbage. When I was in my early teens my mother would come in and help making mash potatoes and sometimes the cornbread to pull the meal together. We'd sit around the kitchen table everyday and pass food around, until our schedules no longer made it possible.

We'd set the table and after we were all seated we'd say grace. Most of us just said "Jesus wept," and be ready to dig in. My mother & father's prayer was basically the same "thank you for the food I'm about to receive for the nourishment of our bodies for Christ sake Amen." At some point we all had the opportunity to adopt our own prayers, my mother told me to look in the bible and something would speak to me. I decided on "but seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things shall be added onto you." I didn't know at that time how that scripture would follow me for life.

The Kingdom

Churches and their messages are so interesting to me these days. From the displays on license plates you would think that being blessed means you're prosperous. Material trappings or "these things" show that you are doing right by God. Implied in that message conversely is if you're struggling you'd better get right with God so you can have the good life too, as if the poor aren't blessed also. Bringing your treasure into the house of the Lord in the form of tithes and offerings are closely monitored by some churches to the point of requiring its members to submit paycheck stubs. You give at your place of worship in order to receive.

From my perspective the message they send is give to receive. So giving becomes an investment. My disagreement with this point is as it relates to intent behind giving. A Course in Miracles says that "the cost of giving is receiving," but receiving is not the goal. In the Old Testament or Jewish they left the chaff so anyone who needed it could take it. Chaff was corner & edge portion of their crops. That's giving.

So what does it mean to seek the Kingdom of God and his righteousness? It's more about how we treat our fellow man than what we do in our churches or synagogues. So what if you give $100 at church on Sunday but can't be bothered to give a single dollar to the homeless man. So what if you spend three hours at church on Sunday but not an hour on Saturday to work in a soup kitchen. We've gotten it so confused acting as if what we do in our churches absolves us from the work needed in our communities.

The real mission of Christianity is in how we treated one another. ACIM says that "many conspire with God that do not know God" Jesus said "that as you do onto the least of these you do also onto me." Our giving only at the church is selfish giving so that we receive, not so that others can receive as well. Others that don't look or act like you or who don't believe like you. Who is the Good Samaritan? The Kingdom is spread out all over the world.

My Point: Love

God is not an ATM machine that if you simply punch in the right prayers and give your 10% that you get back out what you desire, that's not how it works. Life happens without regard for what you do. God is no respecter of persons so you can do everything you think you were suppose to do and your body will still die and may suffer in the process. Ask Jesus, he died on the cross none of us get a free pass. So what really matters is that you make a difference; that you love. You are blessed to be a blessing to others. Are you your brother's keeper?