Book of Sandra

Chapter 4

Sometimes I can be pretty rigid. I'm not sure where all it came from, I was a rebellious teenager that bucked my parents and the system every chance I got. One of my closest girlfriends joking says that my middle initial stands for Defiance, I am that. I have never believed in just going along to get a long, it always seemed to me that I needed to live my truth whatever that was. For me living my truth is a matter of honor.

You may know that I'm a Trekky, The Next Generation was my show and Jean-Luc Picard and Lt. Worf my guys. I learned a lot about personal integrity, respect, and operating from a set of principles that orders my steps. I've already written my obituary thinking that if I know how I'd like to be remembered, it will direct how I live.

It seems that honor is missing in our society today, at least from my vantage point. There are some many people who live by the seat of their pants so to speak making decisions on the fly and not realizing the greater implications of those decisions. We have people who pander to the crowd going for what gets the reactions rather than what's right. Right is not always popular and we can misread reactions.

Whatever happened to your word being your bond? I confess that as I age my memory is not nearly as good as it use to be, so now I have to compensate by writing things down and sending myself reminders. I remember years ago a man asked me out that I was really attracted to. He asked me to meet him out for coffee and gave me a date and time. It was a week away. He was all that and a bag of chips by my estimation so he really couldn't be attracted to me. On the day of the meeting I kept thinking this is a joke, he's going to stand me up so I didn't go. It was over two years before I saw him again, I heard he had gotten married and was still doing really well. When he saw me he was with his wife but he stopped came over to me and as he hugged me he said "I waited over an hour for you and you never showed."

I didn't want to be that person whose words don't have meaning. Who does not do what she says she'll do. That lacks honor. I want to value your time and attention just I would my own. This is the golden rule; do onto others as you would have them do unto you. It's a matter of respect.

Whatever happened to respect? Where did we get this idea that respect is earned? My actions are based on my prime directive not anyone else's. How I operate comes from my value system and is not subject to change because of who I'm dealing with. When your actions are predicated by the actions of another it is them that is in control and not you. They push your buttons and cause you to react as they choose when that is the case, that makes you a puppet and them the puppeteer. Personal autonomy is necessary to have honor.

Wow, this keeps opening up so much for me. More to come. . . .

Book of Sandra

Chapter 3

I love the way life constantly provides fodder for thought or discussion. Feels like it did when I was doing radio, spirit knew it had a willing mouth piece and therefore gave me people and circumstances to talk about. Now don't get me wrong I'm not the type to get caught up talking about small minded ideas like material possessions or gossiping about people. I like to talk about archetypal themes that each of us have to go through to grow through.

In the introduction of A Course in Miracles (ACIM) it reads

"This is a course in miracles. It is a required course. Only the time you take it is voluntary. . . "

When I first read that I thought what a lofty thought, how would the author ever know that I'd pick up this book? So required for whom? What most of us don't realize is that this life comes with its own curriculum. We're engaged in a course in miracles and cannot do otherwise. All its lessons are lessons that have been undertaken since man became conscious of his ability to choose. The particulars of each lesson vary from person to person but not the aim of it. Lessons are repeated until you get it right.

Integrity

Nathaniel Branden defines integrity as "the integration of ideals, convictions, standards, beliefs – and behavior." To simplify its when your actions are in line with what you say you value. Most of us were raised with values of some type or developed them on our own later by deciding who we want to be in the world. If you value life, honesty, reliability or respect what you do should be in alignment with what you think/value/believe. When you violate your own values, you feel diminished or lose face to in your own eyes.

Personal integrity is one that many of us struggle with because it is so vitally important to not only how others see & feel about us, but more importantly how we see & feel about ourselves. Most of our formative lessons are there to teach us who we are as part of group and then to develop independently of that group. We develop a sense of self, our likes and dislikes as well as our own personal values. Many of us adopt the values of those around us and never consider that those values may no longer fit the person we have become. The group will have you to think that there is only one way of thinking, the right way – their way. One such group "the family" expects that every child born to their group will continue with the same religion, live in the same area, and carry on the same basic family values. As we mature we make decisions as to whether the family values fit with our current values. Sometimes they do and other times they do not.

For example, if you were raised with basic Christian values you learned that sex outside of marriage is wrong. If as an adult you participated in sex outside of marriage, you would be violating a value that you hold and would likely have some type of emotional reaction each time you had sex outside of marriage. Acting against your values is self betrayal and can leave you feeling guilty, dirty or just plain wrong. Violation of your own self trust diminishes self worth, self esteem and causes you to hemorrhage personal power which unchecked could lead to a variety of perverse behaviors. You either have to change your actions or your values to stop the hemorrhaging of energy. When alignment is achieved you can begin to develop and strengthen your self-perception.

Carolyn Myss said "From a spiritual perspective, the entire physical world is nothing more than our classroom, but the challenge to each of us in this classroom is: Given your particular body, environment, and beliefs, will you make choices that enhance your spirit or those that drain your power into the physical illusion around you?

We are constantly presented with challenges that make us demonstrate whether our heads, hearts and actions agree. Something as simple as the clerk giving you the wrong change and how you address it can impact how you see yourselves. Do you act with honor? That information is for you more so than anyone else, you may be the only one who knows, but the results of your decisions shows up and out in your energy field. They determine whether you lose power or strengthen it. More on this in a future post.