Recently I asked a friend to appear on my TV show, I was somewhat pressed to get a guest and knew he needed some PR for his newly formed business venture. On the day of the taping he called to say that he wasn't dressed right, his face was broken out, and a number of things that to me sounded like cold feet. Who passes up free publicity?
I have frequently had to talk guest into doing something that they really want to do but often lack the confidence or courage to do. They worry what others will think or say as if an opinion can, of themselves, cause harm. Truly the only harm an opinion can do is when we put a period behind it, accept it as truth and think end of story.
There is always the risk of not getting chosen but if we never step out there we run the added risk of not being seen either. All success carries with it some degree of risk, if we risk nothing we gain nothing. At least in doing or putting ourselves out there we are open we not only get exposure but we find areas to improve for better positioning.
Growth
When I first started out of the radio years ago stressed over the idea of finding my voice. I kept going on about how I wanted to be perceived, the affect I wanted to have and the general feel and texture of my show. I appeared on other's shows, co-hosted and eventually got my own show and time slot and still I talked about finding my voice.
A dear friend and fellow talk show host gave me a tape and asked me to listen; I was surprised to recognize the voice that I resonated most with was my own. I know that sounds strange how could I not recognize my own voice? I felt like I was having an out of body experience and all I could think was WOW! That day I stopped searching for my voice and realized that I had had it all along, it grew out of who I was and not something I made up based on what I thought others wanted to hear.
Self Acceptance
The challenge of accepting oneself is an internal challenge; we are often quicker to condemn ourselves than to be condemned. We compare and judge thinking that what we think about ourselves others think also. Growing up we learned to modify our behavior and thinking by listening to the constant input of others eventually, drowning out or losing track of our own voice. Part of the maturation process is finding or reclaiming that voice. That reclamation process can be very different for each of us.
- Some try to fit in or blend in attempting not to differentiate themselves from the crowd. Go along to get along.
- Some fight against the crowd; often taking on the role of an outsider or antagonist.
- Some become approval addicts or develop co-dependent personalities.
- Others learn a sense of confidence that says yes we're different and that is okay.
To a great degree learning to accept your own voice means that you must stand on your own two feet and risk the disapproval of others. It also makes room for the possibility that others may be impressed or persuaded by your stance or inspired to let go of the self-defeating habit of seeking approval.
Make time for yourself daily so you can get clear on what you think or believe and define what is important to you. When you get clear on your core values let that serve as your litmus test. The last thing we need is more coppertops jumping on a bandwagon to nowhere. Challenge those around you to look beyond the surface of what's popular.
No comments:
Post a Comment