It Happens Like Clockworks

I was looking for a small notebook, and rather than go to the store and buy yet another one I decided to look what I had in the house to recycle or re-purpose a book. Now let me say that yes, I can be somewhat of a pack rat, I have notebooks from college that have to be 20 years old. I have boxes of journals, new and used, because I write daily. As I'm typing this it's back to school season so I just purchased extra journals at the back to school prices.

After a brief search I found a small green fat notebook that is so old the lines had started to fade. It was perfect because I was just planning to keep a food journal for about a month to keep track on how different foods affect me. You know if you get bloated from dairy or a headache from coffee, the kind of stuff you can just quickly scratch down and forget about till review time.

The notebook was half filled and coincidentally started off with the number of a man I just ran into by accident a few days ago. He was in the grocery store riding in one of those handicap scooters. He asked if I was still on the radio. I told him about the TV show I was doing and he said "see I told you so" as if I had that kind of memory.

As I thumbed through the book it seemed to be a journal that I'd kept in my meditation closet. It was full of insights and prayers. It was dated for the turn of the century December 1999, which is probably when I met that guy and several months thereafter. It chronicled a few conversations with various people about money, vibrations and stuff I needed most of which I have since gotten and given away to goodwill. I wrote about what it would take to get a cable show.

In 1999 getting a show seemed to be about politics and who I knew. I seemed to be struggling to make it happen. When it actually happened it was the result of someone asking me "hey can we get you to do a show?" I said yes and things just fell into place because I kept moving forward. It is still not all that I've envisioned but as I keep moving forward I trust that all will happen as it should.

Prayer

When I had my center I seemed to struggle with finances, but I was so happy about allowing Spirit to use me. I use to talk about prayer & meditation which is the medium for creation. In meditation I'm conscious of the gentle spin of this wonderful planet and the movement of time. Everything is alive, active and moving but when I got clear in my mind about what I wanted and formulated it into a request or prayer I could feel a pause in the activity of life. It was as if someone said "wait-wait-wait: Sandra just put in a request." I could feel the adjustments being made in the clockworks, reset, and then a resuming of the movement of time.

Results aren't immediate in experience but seed was planted the moment I made my request. If left to germinate it will arrive when ripe. It's mostly about me growing into the person I need to be for my desire to come into fruition. It is not easy to trust that Spirit knows how to accomplish our desired result. This is most apparent in our search for a mate, rather than exercising patience we jump on the first thing that slows down.

The Gift

A brief review of that fat little notebook reminded me to trust that the answer to my request is always affirmative. When I was having the financial struggles at the center I jumped ship rather than practice patience. Intellectually, I decided that what I was doing was for ego rather than God; years later I see that it was ego fighting for its own life. The way I now distinguish between God's voice and egos is to see which one calls for my highest and best self? Which one requires a gentle stretch?

Sitting back and allowing or trusting Spirit to do what Spirit does isn't easy. Trusting God to send the people and experiences into my life to grow me into the person who will be ready or a match for what I desire is an act of faith. When the time is ripe there is no struggle, your desires will come together like clockworks.